Etiquette Tips for Holding an At-Home Reception

The Etiquette of At-Home Receptions

One of the risks (or advantages) couples face when holding a destination wedding is the guest list can shrink substantially. Destination weddings tend to be more intimate events by design. But if you desire a personal ceremony with only your very closest loved ones and a larger reception later on, an at-home celebration may be just what you need. It is completely acceptable to host a belated hometown event, plus it will allow you to have your proverbial wedding cake and eat it too!

Here are a few suggestions to make this a gracious gathering:

·         Invite all of those family and friends that you would like to share in your wedding, but could not make the trip to your destination.

·         Host the event two to six weeks after your wedding. You will want time to recuperate after your ceremony at your destination, but don’t plan too far in the future or the reception may feel anticlimactic.

·         Make the event as formal or informal as you would like. It can be a barbeque at a relative’s home, h’ordeuvres at a restaurant, or a formal reception including all of the festivities that you might expect…cake, your wedding gown, dancing, etc.

·         Invite guests to the at-home reception at the same time your invitations to the destination wedding are mailed so guests realize that they are included in celebrating your marriage even if they are not included in the ceremony.

·         Have pictures on display and a video playing if available so your guests can visualize your destination event and feel part of the festivities.

·         You may wear your wedding gown, or if you are hosting a less formal event, you may wish to have your gown shortened to wear again if it’s an appropriate style or wear another more informal dress.

·         You might choose a theme and menu connected to where you held your destination wedding to emphasize the ambience for your at-home guests.

The etiquette of gift giving becomes very delicate as destination weddings become more popular. Traditional rules of etiquette stand in the area of expecting a gift. If your guests are not invited to your ceremony at your destination, then they are not obligated to send a present, even if they are invited to a belated celebration.   Although, many close friends and relatives may desire to still send a gift. 

Gracious methods of handling the gift situation would be:

·         No registry information should be included in any printed invitations for the wedding itself or for the at-home reception. Word of mouth from family and wedding party attendants remains the best way to express your wishes to guests who are inquiring.

·         It has become acceptable to include registry information on your web site, so feel free to include that so it is easy for guests to get you a gift. Make sure to register for things in an array of price ranges.

·         Gifts should not be opened at the at-home reception. Making sure there is a place for guests to place gifts is important as many people will still feel compelled to bring you something.

·         Friends may want to host a shower for you if the guests will be included in your at-home reception, and have been invited prior to receiving the shower invitation.

·         Registry information may be included in shower invitations since the purpose of a shower is to give gifts to the bride.

·         Gifts should not be expected if only a wedding announcement is sent.

·         Remember that the definition of a gift is, “something freely given.” You should never expect a gift or be offended if someone doesn’t give you something.

·         Always make sure to respond with a hand-written thank you note quickly. Never email a thank you. If someone took the time to pick something out and graciously give you a wedding present, you should take the time to properly acknowledge it.

As you consider all of the plans you are making for your destination wedding and related festivities, it is always wise to consider how your guests are feeling. When events are planned graciously and with good taste, your guests will feel welcomed and appreciated…that should be your goal.